Happy Wife, Happy Life – many of you have heard this simple phrase before. How many of you use this as a filter before you say yes to something? Think of it this way, you are asked to play cards tonight with the boys, do you automatically say yes? Or, do you run the question through this filter? If you play, will it make your spouse upset? Will the fun you have playing cards outweigh a little pain later on? Most of us use this type of decision making tool naturally when it comes to our personal lives. What is your filter in your professional life? Do you even have one?
Closer to? Or farther from?
There are two types of people; those that say yes to everything, and those that understand the value of saying no to somethings. If you are the type of person that is often doing things that do not help you advance toward your goals, aspirations, or happiness, you haven’t set your filter.
“When you say yes to something, you are saying no to everything else”
What are you trying to achieve at this moment? Is that something that you haven’t been able to get to? What is getting in your way?
If you know where you are trying to go, but can’t quite get there, what decisions have you made that are prohibiting you? Everything we participate in, requires us to make a decision. When we make those decisions, we could be putting something else off, or hindering it in a way.
“Hey, let’s go out to dinner tonight” – a colleague.
Do you think to yourself, does this get me closer to my goal? Or farther away from it? Are you going to cross that personal development webinar that you were planning to attend off the calendar to go out with this person?
That’s an easy one … what if you get a call from your least favorite customer, asking for you to work on a project. You know that the price they will pay is low and the work not fulfilling or enjoyable. You justify the decision by thinking to yourself, I have the extra time … Do you have a filter? What are you willing to walk away from? Why do you have the time? Shouldn’t you be using that time to develop the business that is good paying and more enjoyable?
Defining your filter(s)
Simon Sinek has the best answer to this “start with why”. Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action
Why are you doing what you are doing? What is the end game? If you continue to do this activity, are you still on the right track to meet or exceed your goals?
After you know your why, determine the activities that are taking you farther away from that goal, and not moving you towards anything positive. Mindless social media time, watching terrible sitcoms, or going out to dinner with people you don’t want to associate with. As Tom Ziglar says, “the fastest way to success, is to replace bad habits with good ones”.
Another key, find people that you want to spend time with. That could be either in real life, or reading their material. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn – that means in person, virtually, listening to podcasts. If you want to get somewhere, fill your life with things that can advance you to that goal.
Kole Performance Group
If you are looking to create and develop your filter, contact us. As an executive and leadership coach, I can provide the clarity that you need in an objective manner. We work hard today, to improve your tomorrow!